The Not-So-Hot Quasi-Reunion ...

Okay, so part of me was terrified and extremely nervous, but the other part of me was actually really excited. At first that is. I was going to be seeing people that I had not seen in close to 20 years.

I suppose that the night can be broken down into 2 categories. The bad news and the good news. The bad news? No one there seemed to know or remember who I was. The good news? No one there seemed to know or remember who I was....

It took all of 15 seconds upon entering DJ's Dugout for me to find myself back in the same damn shell I had spent my entire high school existance (and most of my adult years) in. The role of "she who sits there and watches as everyone else goes about their business." A new record, I am sure.

Yeah, I was not exactly a social butterfly as a kid. Not that I have developed into one since then. As hard as it may be for those who know me to imagine, and other's of you may have forgotten in the years you've known me, but, I tend toward being extremely shy and introverted. I would go to dances in school and end up being the perpetual wallflower, even though several friends were there. If people I know are busy talking to other people, I just can't bring myself to relex enough to break in unless I REALLY know the people REALLY well. Granted, that once I DO know people really well, I can be the "life of the party" if I want to. LOL

I had been hoping to have people with me that I could talk to last night, on the off chance that I had no one else to talk to. Unfortunately, no one was able to make it out there with. I chose instead to eat a few fries and head out. Luckily, since no one seemed to recoginze me, I seriously doubt that anyone missed me or even noticed my hasty exit.

Okay, don't get me wrong. I am not saying that the people there were bad people. In fact they seemed very nice and were enjoying themselves quite a bit. There was one guy that even talked to me and let me join the group he was talking to. I just had no idea of what they were talking about, and had very little to contribute. So yeah, back to the shell I went. I hate it. I had no trouble living most of my life in that shell until I actually spent a goog deal of time out of it. Suddenly, last night, I realized how confining and sufficating it really was. And just how much I hate it.

It was enough to leave me with the sudden urge to go home and bake a sheet cake simply so that I could eat the entire thing and then promptly go throw it up. An urge I have not had in years. NOT good. But I behaved myself, bid my time and then beat a hasty retreat. Okay, so that wasn't until after I had a momentary lapse in sanity and called one of my closest friends in desperation to beg him to come down and 'save' me as it were. Then I took stock of the situation, realized that we would be locked away from the dart boards pretty much, and without the ability to relax and play darts, it would look like the worse case scenerio of me freaking out and being EXTREMELY pathetic, because I couldn't handle the situation. No. I don't do pathetic anymore. So I called him back and cancelled the save request, ate a few fries, and got the hell out of there as fast as my legs could carry me.

I would have left even earlier, but when I had first gotten there, I could have SWORN I saw Crystal and that she saw me. If it was not her, it was a damn good look-a-like. Not sure, as I didn't spot Kevin and she turned away from me when I tried to get a second look. Those who know of the whole Crystal incident, must understand why I was loathe to leave sooner, as I didn't want it to appear that I was leaving due to her presence. What can I say, I am stubborn that way.

Yes. I think it would have been better if I had stayed home and I think that I will find out positively who will be going to the next official HS reunion before I put my marker down for going. Because I do not want to go through all this again.

I don't mind the wasted effort of making sure I looked my very best. Hell, I do that anytime I go out to a bar. But I didn't even get hit on by the generic, overly drunk, preverted guy who can't seem to take no for an answer, that some how always manages to find me in bars and harass me. So I didn't get to come home with any funny stories to tell either.... So yeah. The night was a total bust.